Bridge House (Franschoek)

Bridge House in Franschhoek. Franschhoek. The wine route. The place where Capetonians go to feel European for a weekend and pretend their lives are a magazine spread. And someone looked at all that and said, you know what this cobblestone paradise needs? A school. A full boarding school. So now you have kids sleeping over in the most Instagrammable town in the Western Cape while their parents are back home in Stellenbosch or Cape Town convincing themselves this is normal. 710 learners and 79 teachers, giving you a ratio of 9 to 1. Nine kids per teacher. NINE. Bru, my cousin went to a school in Bellville where the ratio was closer to 9000 to 1 and the teacher was also the janitor and possibly the tuck shop lady. At Bridge House you basically have a personal tutor following you around the vineyard asking if you need help with your fractions. The audacity. And it is combined phase, co-ed, boarding, private, sitting in Franschhoek like it invented the concept of education. You know what other things are in Franschhoek? Restaurants that charge R280 for a starter. That energy is fully present here. This school has the same vibe as a menu with no prices on it. If you have to ask, you cannot afford it, my friend. Overall verdict: Bridge House is basically a gap year dressed up as a school, but with that teacher ratio your kid might actually pass, so fair enough.