King Edward Vii School (Johannesburg)

Okay so King Edward VII. Named after a British king who has been dead for over a hundred years, which is fitting because the school description reads like it was also written in 1910. "It has an enrolment of 1,176 learners taught by 78 educators." Broe that is literally just the Wikipedia page for the school. No vision, no values, no "we shape future leaders," nothing. Just vibes and a headcount. Even the Checkers weekly specials have more personality than that description. But listen, 1,176 kids and 78 teachers. That is a 15 to 1 ratio, which sounds fine until you realise your teacher is basically running a small taxi rank every period. Fifteen faces staring at you, someone is definitely asleep in the back, someone is eating a pie, and one kid has not been seen since the second term. Johannesburg traffic is bad enough without having to locate fifteen learners every forty minutes. Now the 100% matric pass rate though. Eish. Okay fine. We cannot take that away. That is genuinely hard to do with over a thousand learners in Joburg where load shedding alone can take out half a school's study time. Credit where it is due, King Edward VII is clearly doing something right, even if they cannot be bothered to tell anyone what that something is. Overall verdict: A school so confident in itself it does not even need a description, and honestly with a 100% pass rate, maybe it does not.