Heidelberg Academy High (Heidelberg)

Heidelberg Academy High, hey. A private school in Heidelberg, Gauteng, calling itself an "Academy." Broe, Heidelberg is not exactly the academic capital of the Southern Hemisphere, but okay, we will allow it. You are paying R42,000 a year to go to school in a town most people only know because they drove through it on the N3 and needed to stop for a Wimpy. Now listen, 112 learners in the whole school. The ENTIRE school. That is smaller than most matric classes elsewhere. You know everyone's business, everyone's drama, everyone's lunch. There is no hiding at this school. You cannot even pretend you did not see someone at the tuck shop because there are literally eleven of you per teacher. Your teacher knows your face, your handwriting, your excuses, and probably your mother's WhatsApp voice notes. That 11.2 to 1 ratio sounds amazing until you realise it also means your teacher definitely saw you cheating on that test. And R42,000 for Grade 12 at a school with 112 kids total. You are basically paying for a very expensive family braai that also has homework. The whole school could fit in one marquee at Matric rage. You could fit the entire institution in a single Gautrain carriage and still have space for a guitar. Overall verdict: Heidelberg Academy High is a tiny, pricey little school in the middle of nowhere that somehow charges big city money, but with eleven learners per teacher, at least someone is actually going to notice if you skip class.