Bay Christian School (Port Elizabeth)

Okay so Bay Christian School in Bluewater Bay, Port Elizabeth. First of all, Bluewater Bay sounds like a place where someone opened a school because the church hall was already booked. 114 learners. One hundred and fourteen. That is not a school, that is a family WhatsApp group that got out of hand. Your entire student body could fit inside a Checkers on a quiet Tuesday and still have space for the trolleys. Nine educators for 114 kids, which gives you a 12.7 to 1 ratio. Now on paper that sounds intimate and lovely. What it actually means is your teacher knows exactly who ate whose lunch, who was late, who copied, and who has been wearing the same jersey for three days. There is nowhere to hide. You cannot even pretend you were absent because the principal probably drove past your house and saw you. Christian school in a place called Bluewater Bay. The name alone sounds like a worship song. You half expect the school bell to be a tambourine. The ethos is probably "love thy neighbour" but also "we will phone your parents before you even get home." Port Elizabeth wind, small community, God watching, and nine teachers who all know your name. Brother. There is more surveillance here than load shedding schedules in Gqeberha. Overall verdict: Bay Christian School is basically a very organised small group Bible study that somehow got a Department of Education registration, but at least your teacher actually knows you exist.